Tuesday, October 11, 2011

It's Hard To Say Goodbye

Too much time I’ve wasted for loving you, and I’ve never regretted it. Nine years is not a short time to keep the love that I have. Perhaps this is no longer a secret between me and you.

I humble myself like a servant to her master. I follow your commands, though sometimes I wonder why I do it all, but I still do it. When I'm feeling tired, I go away to find another love, but only half way I'm back again. Back into your hands. And somehow every word you say about him always right. Every word you say, as you never let me go with another love, that made me go back, back to your hug.

But the way it all happened, I never understand why we could never be one? I'm sure that we have the same feeling, and we just keep these feeling. But what are the things that make us can't be one? One of the reasons is maybe for the five years in the beginning you were not sure about my feeling. Then you're gone, gone for a year without any news. I didn't know whether you looked for me, but you have to believe that I was looking for you. One year has gone by and you came back.

Two or three months passed, and I still feel you are like you used to, the prince from the kingdom of my heart. But as time goes by, I don't feel the same, you aren't you, whom I’ve known for ever. You seem so strange in my eyes. Although I feel the love is still there, and you never missed to show it all.

And this ... in the ninth year, from the long story about our love, I could really understand that God loves me. That’s why He never lets us become one. God has shown me pain to make me realize, that our ways of life are different. And I understand now. Sorry that I have to leave from my love, from all of our dreams. Friendship is the way we are. Loving you, I cannot. This love is about my life and my future.

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